aLtitude and aTitude

Looking back over some of my latest blog entries on MySpace, I've been a bit too absorbed in some of the negative aspects of life recently. I suppose any one of us is susceptible to getting sidetracked by drama anywhere along our journey through life but remember that your life's "aLtitude" will be defined by your own "aTtitude." How far do YOU want to go? How successful do you want to be? Do you want to be somebody who is known for being a "positive" influence on others ... or the person who's always dragging everybody else down? You have a choice to make.

I'm certainly not saying that a person should be oblivious to the problems his or her family and friends are facing. That's what being a friend to another is all about; being there to support those who are close to your heart in their hour of need.

However, we should not allow the tensions and problems our friends are facing to influence our own life so much so that we get bogged down in feeling "sad" all of the time. Life really isn't all about problems; there is a happier side to life, as well. Perhaps you've heard the old adage, "you can choose to get glad in the same shoes you got mad in" (or something to that effect). Well, it's true - each one of us has the ability to choose whether we wish to be happy or to be sad. Rather to be content or to be mad. There will most likely always be some sh&t that'll come along that we will have to deal with. So what! (If there wasn't, would we really appreciate those moments when the sh&t WASN'T hitting the fan? LOL!) ..okay, maybe that came off as a bit sarcastic. *laughs* It's life, people. We're here to live it; to make the most OF it. You can't do that if you're always sitting in the middle of the room crying and playing the part of "oh, poor me."

Heck, if I'd done that six (6) years ago when I discovered I'd become HIV-positive because I'd made some decisions that were the direct result of being lied to by my ex (regarding his own status), I would never have survived. If I'd given in last year when (as a result of having been infected with the HIV virus) I developed and had to be treated for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (cancer), I wouldn't have survived the treatment and [since] gone into remission. (Yes, I have a fifty percent chance, so they say, that the cancer will come back. I'll deal with it if and when that happens but there's no guarantee in life. That's what, I suppose, makes life interesting. That just about anything can happen.)

All things considered, I think we need the "lows" in our life to help us appreciate the highs (and no, Jarrod, I'm not talking about weed here). (I love my cousin but really; sometimes, I wonder about him.) *sigh* Does that mean I want to get stuck in the lows like some muddy damn bog in the middle of a marsh? No. I don't. I'll acknowledge life isn't perfect and take the good with the bad -- but I've got to do what I can to raise my own attitude this month. I'm here for those of you I consider to be my friends; you're all very dear to me for different reasons. I'd go so far as to say I love ya, as friends go, and I'm proud of what many of you have been able to accomplish in your young lives. Some of you have the ability to confound me on a daily basis with your own perspective on life; that's a good thing. If you're on my list of friends, it's because something about you peaked my interest --- you impressed me with your intelligence or your passion for life, or I saw in you someone with such a good heart that I really considered you to be a blessing in my life.

Yes, some have disappointed me recently but really - I imagine I've disappointed some of my own friends (maybe even in recent days). It's a part of what makes us human. I am not perfect, nor are any of my friends. If we were we wouldn't have any hope of becoming "better" people and we'd certainly be bored, as we wouldn't have anything left to strive for. I'll settle for being imperfect, but human. As such, I know I have a heart and that I'm willing to share the love that abides in it with my friends. It is just my hope that my friends know how valued they are to me.

So in closing let me just say I love you all. You're special. If I didn't think you were I wouldn't bother going to all of the trouble of checking in with each one of you from time to time to see how you're doing.

Best wishes with a hug thrown in for good measure...