Saturday, February 9, 2008

Ever feel like a number?


The following is just something I put up on an online service earlier this week (you know the kind— online dating). {groans} LOL!!! At any rate, this may give you a little more insight into the kind of guy I am – as well as what kind of guy might interest me when it comes to dating (or more)…

About Myself

What to say that’ll make you like me! How about if we just keep it real and if you like what you hear, great; if you don’t, you can simply move on, no hard feelings.

I’m not always the most courageous guy on the block but I have my values which I try hard to uphold. (And if anybody threatens someone I love or care deeply about, well, hell hath no fury… you get the picture.) I suppose my philosophy on objects is that while the material things in life are nice to have around – you can’t take them with you. I’ve made a lot of money and I’ve lost it all and basically, what I’ve learned is this. When my ticket is called the only thing that’ll matter is “how will I see myself when that day arrives?”

On the day I die (many years from now – I hope!)…

Will I think of myself as one who embraced life, seizing opportunities to make every moment count – or as somebody who ‘floated through, unwilling to cause even the slightest ripple in the pond; to make any kind of an impact or leave even the smallest of legacies? Will I be a man of substance; someone who was willing to be a friend to others, able to be counted upon — or just another face in the crowd who’s only interest was “what’s in it for me?” Will family have played a major role in my life – or will my family really even know me? Will I be missed by those I leave behind? Did I take the time to tell those whom I care about … that I truly love and care for them?

I’m a hopeless Romantic. I have strong opinions and I think I have pretty good values. Even so, I try not to judge others when their own values/opinions differ from my own. It’s true we are all a part of the community of man but we are also individuals. We’re entitled to reach for our own dreams and live our own lives according to our values. Also, we each have crosses to bear and vices to feed (we’re not perfect). But… each of us can (and should) take the time to touch another’s life in some small way; to do things every now and again, for somebody else, without any expectation of personal gain.

My Hobbies…

Include camping and getting out on the lake on my Sea Doo. I absolutely love nature and if I ever won the lottery you can bet your [butt] I’d buy about 300 acres (upon which I’d build my own version of paradise, building a spacious, comfortable log cabin right in the middle of it all). I enjoy people, as well, so I suppose such a place could become a bed and breakfast. Getting away to nature is what keeps me sane (if you want to think of me as being so). I mean, what better way is there to commune with God or Spirit than to remove yourself from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, to enjoy the natural wonders this world has to offer?

I also enjoy writing poetry and a bit of photography. Some of my poetry has been published but I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. (I think it was more of a scam to get me to purchase one of their books. LOL! That said, the poem, imo, was quite good.) I’m proud of my photography, as well.

Who I’d Like To Meet

You don’t have to be hopelessly romantic yourself (but I certainly won’t stop you). You should have strong family values and be willing to put yourself out there; for yourself, your loved ones and others. You needn’t be “Mother Theresa” but shouldn’t be selfish either. I’m not interested in narcissistic personalities. If you’re only cute and hunky… you might be a pleasant distraction but if you aren’t participating in life for some of the right reasons we probably won’t date for long. I find myself attracted to younger guys … I don’t know why that is. Maybe I’m attracted to a younger man’s zest for life – but I’m open to a serious relationship with someone my own age (supposing you “live” life). We never know how much time life will afford us; one has to make every moment count for as much as he or she can.

Basically, Life is intended (imo) to be enjoyed so enjoy it for God’s sake!


Some people think, when they’re in a relationship, that they belong on a pedestal (or that they should put their partner on one). If I meet and fall in love with someone, sure, he’ll be my Number #1. The person I’ll think about during those lulls at the office and the one I’ll happily come home to every night, without fail or delay. But, I’ll know he’s a person just as I am; just as prone to making mistakes as I can be. (We’re only human, after all. Neither of us needs to be held to expectations we’re inevitably going to fall short of. We will likely have moments when one will disappoint the other. When that happens, we talk about it and move past, forgiving and looking toward the future.) Communication is key!

Any special person in my life should never have cause to question my feelings for him. I’m not afraid to express my love; he shouldn’t be either. Goes back to being a romantic, I suppose.

I don’t expect fireworks at first sight, but if the attraction heats up it’d be nice to know we’re both working toward something long-term. If you’ve problems committing, you should say so up front. I won’t hold it against you but it’s always nice to know where one stands, in the grand scheme of things. If the dating does [eventually] work into something long-term, know that monogamy is the ONLY word in my dictionary. If you’re a slut, keep walking. {laughs}

This is probably as good a place as any to mention I’m HIV-positive. It’s part of the reason why I’m insistent on monogamy. Right after I ended my last serious relationship, I discovered my partner of 6.5 years had been lying to me about his own HIV status. For lack of discussion, just know I accepted him at his word and as a result, made some bad decisions while he and I were together. Those decisions led to my being infected with the virus. I’m healthy now but others should be aware of this up front. To some, it’s a deal breaker. To those who are better informed, it’s a matter of me being honest about my health status; one which precludes anything BUT safe sex. Just know that I won’t stand for behavior by anyone I care for (we’re talking “boyfriends” here) which could put that person at risk of being infected. If you’re already HIV-positive, it’s a matter of taking precautions to avoid your being re-infected; if your negative, it’s a matter of keeping you this way.

(Oh, was that a tad bit of a let-down? Sorry..
Better to get it out of the way now if it’s a deal-
breaker -but on to more pleasant talk… )

I enjoy getting together with friends but generally don’t prefer to be the “center of attention.” Anybody I’m dating can have as much or as little of the stage as he requires or desires. I won’t be competing. {winks!}

I’m not interested in loners or total introverts (again, I enjoy spending time in social gatherings) but I also enjoy down-time. I can fully appreciate those quiet, intimate moments where we just stay in, snuggled up in front of a good movie or roaring fire. I suppose it could sometimes be said that I live for those moments, being the hopeless romantic that I am.

My Accomplishments

In the twenty+plus years since I moved to Dallas, I’ve done my fair share of dating and have had a couple of serious relationships, as well. I’m single so (obviously) the relationships failed for one reason or another. Feel free to ask why but understand that I [try] not to dwell on those periods of my life. Doing so serves no real purpose (which isn’t to say I haven’t learned from my mistakes or even that I won’t talk about them). That said, my last serious relationship was particularly difficult so be prepared to earn my trust slowly. If you enjoy playing mind games, move along (I’m simply not interested in mind games or drama).

In closing, know this— While I lost pretty much everything seven years ago, I went on to rebuild my life. It isn’t everything I want it to be [yet] – but I’m getting there slowly and surely. Make no mistake about it, I’m not perfect but I have my self-respect. I demand no less from others; for myself as well as those I love.

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